Nov 032010

Ljiljana and Thomas on their wedding day in April of 2009

I am the oldest of three children. My sister and I are separated by only sixteen months, but for me it was enough to always feel like a protector. I took her to a high school dance once and had to stand up to a gang leader who had fancied her, without considering the consequences of my defiance (I had to employ the best of my diplomatic talents to ensure the company of a friend who was respected in the “underworld” community to accompany us home when six or seven angry men surrounded us after the dance).

When she started dating a suave, sweet talking, magic weaving, not to be trusted guy that was my boyfriend for about three and a half days some time before, I slapped her, trying to get her out of his spiderweb hold. It did not work. They stayed together for several years.

She went through several relationships, and I traveled up and down with her. It seemed as if our lives were unravelling at the same speed, at different times, with similar intensity. She was living in Frankfurt, Germany, and I was in the U.S. The telephone was the only connection we had. And back then, it was an expensive one. We sped through those brief, expensive, priceless minutes as if we were being charged for the very breath that carried our love across the Atlantic. At times I cajoled, at times I begged, at times I threatened. And every time it worked. I managed to be the protector she needed. My sister is a stubborn woman, but over time I have convinced her that she should listen to me, at least sometimes.

Several years ago she met Thomas. Online. I was teasing her, calling her the “copycat”, because I met my husband online. This time I did not have to interfere. I did not have to sharpen my claws to fight on her behalf. My instincts were telling me to back off and leave them alone. And I did. As a reward for my exemplary behavior, I have a brother-in-law who is like a real brother to me. And he can take care of her.

Thomas did not have an easy life. His parents were divorced and he was raised by his grandmother in a tiny village on the Rhine river. He would wake up early in the morning to work in the garden, before going to school. In September and October the school became a secondary concern: there were grapes, ripened by the minute, ready to be picked. He loved the life he lived and he resented it at the same time. He yearned for freedom.

As soon as he graduated, he bid his grandmother goodbye and took off for the world. He spent several years as a member of the road crew for some of the most famous rock bands. He traveled the world and lived life on the edge, experiencing all the highs and the lows life had to offer. He got married to a nurse in Berlin and sired two sons with her. When she broke his heart leaving him for his best friend, he ran back to the village where he grew up, seeking solace at the hearth that nourished him for years.

That’s when my sister met him. Alone, hurt, tending his elderly Grossmuter’s garden, greeting every ugly tuber he had to dig up as if he had to pay a penance for being away for so long.

As Thomas said at the day of their wedding, it was love at first sight for him and me. We recognized each other as kindred spirits. That day I metaphorically carried her over and gingerly placed her into his arms, looking into his eyes for assurance. The warmth and love I saw completely disarmed me. For the first time in my life I do not feel obligated to hover over my sister’s life. There is somebody who loves her as much as I do and he can protect her for me.

Thomas grew up on a farm. He yearns to go back to the farm. My sister is a city girl, finding herself at ease wearing designer boots and feeling European sophisticated chic. Even though she has a degree in Agricultural Engineering, she is completely removed from the dirt and seedlings, and does not feel the excitement of a summer vegetable bounty.  But Thomas and I plot behind her back. One of these days, when all of my children are dispersed to college, we would all move to Serbia, to Father’s “ranch”. Husband can write on the porch overlooking the city. My sister can make coffee and read. Thomas and I are going to bury our hands into the warm dirt and turn that piece of land into a paradise. Each fruit tree will be pruned with Teutonic precision, the vineyard on the slope will yield the grapes that will become our small wine label, the plums overflowing their trees will keep us in slivovitz. It seems my new brother and I shall have the lions share of the labor so those stories and that coffee had better be good.

I love my brother-in-law. He always has a smile hiding in his face, and his laugh is infectious. He cannot enter a house without looking for things to fix, which endears my mother. He is adventurous and fearless willing to try new foods which endears him to my epicurean father. He somehow manages to enjoy metal bands like Rammstein to the delight of the College Kritter. She calls him “the magic man.” He runs on adrenaline and dreams of swimming with great white sharks off the coast of California. And he loves to cook. He respects the land and the produce. He does not take shortcuts. He enjoys the process as much as the finished product.

This is his recipe for Oxtail Soup. It is not a soup, really, more of a stew, or a paprikash. It came from Thomas’s Grossmuter. It is time-consuming, but so worth it. Hearty, warm, spicy, and comforting. Everything that embodies my brother-in-law, Thomas, as cheesy as it sounds.

GERMAN OXTAIL SOUP:

All the ingredients were approximate, and I tried to measure the right amounts.

Ingredients:

  • 3 Tbsp lard, bacon grease or butter
  • 2-3 lb ox tail bones
  • 1-2 lb beef shank
  • 1 – 2 leeks, cleaned and sliced
  • 1 – 2 onions, chopped
  • 3-4 carrots, sliced
  • 1/2 of a celery root (celeriac) or 3-4 stalks celery, cleaned or peeled and chopped
  • 1 parsnip, peeled and chopped
  • 2 Tbsp tomato paste (I love the German spicy tomato paste)
  • 1 Tbsp paprika
  • 1 cup dry, red wine
  • 1-2 tsp salt
  • freshly ground pepper
  • 2 bay leaves
  • 5 whole cloves
  • 5 juniper berries
  • 1 stalk fresh thyme or 1 tsp dried thyme leaves
  • hot paprika (optional – I did not use it, the tomato paste gave just the right amount of spice)
  • 1 Tbsp flour (optional)
  • Madeira or dry sherry
  • Fresh or dried parsley

Directions:

Wash the meat and pat dry. Heat the grease in a large Dutch oven or skillet and brown the meat on all sides at medium heat.

Meanwhile, clean and chop the vegetables. If you can’t find parsley root, celeriac and leek increase the celery, onions and carrots. Remove the beef from the pan and brown the vegetables for several minutes, until soft. Add the tomato paste and the paprika, and stir for another minute. Add the red wine and deglaze the pan, scraping up all the browned bits. Add the meat back into the vegetables. Put the whole spices in a piece of cheesecloth, tie into a bundle with kitchen twine, and add to the soup along with hot paprika, if using. Season with salt and pepper. Add enough water to cover everything and let it simmer for 2 – 4 hours or more on the low heat.

When the meat is fork tender, remove to a platter to cool, and then chop into bite sized pieces. Discard the rest of the bones and cartilage. You can strain the broth and discard the vegetables for a smoother soup. In that case mix the flour with some broth to make a slurry. Pour into the gently simmering soup, stirring constantly to avoid lumps. Simmer for 10 minutes. Add the Madeira or sherry and return the meat to the pot. Taste and adjust the seasonings.

I opted for more rustic stew and left the veggies in. If you chose to do that, pull the spice sack out and puree the vegetables just for a second using the immersion blender (it should still be robust with chunks of vegetables). Add the Madeira or sherry, and put the meat back. Taste and adjust the seasonings.

Serve with spaetzle or boiled potatoes.

This is my contribution to Hearth and Soul blog event, hosted by Girlichef and some other wonderful bloggers.

Stephanie of Wasabimon asked for different oxtail recipes. Head over to her blog for a wonderful oxtail soup.

Come join Soup-a-Palooza at TidyMom and Dine and Dish sponsored by Bush’s BeansHip HostessPillsbury and Westminster Crackers

10 Responses to “Doubtless Thomas”

  1. Hello lovely Lana! Again with a wonderful story that I can so relate to as the eldest of four. I never had to worry much about my sister, but my two brothers are another story! finally both are settled with lovely women who are my sisters and I am so happy for that. You are lucky to have a wonderful brother in law you can love. My husband’s family accepts me as on of the brood of 7..he came from a big family! Gosh, i know tons of guys who were road crew for rock bands, I know how hard the life can be. Your dream of a lovely working farm is also one of my dreams! The stew does look delicious and as for the time it takes? it is worth the wait! Thanks so much, as always for sharing with us on the hearth and soul hop! hugs! Alex@amoderatelife!

  2. Being the oldest sister of 5 girls I understand the want and need to protect. How blessed your family is that your sister’s husband is a perfect fit for her and for all of you. That home is Serbia sounds like a beautiful dream I hope happens. Now about the oxtail soup – I am salivating looking at the picture and imagining the taste – I love that it is his Grossmuter’s recipe. A stew worth working for is out of this world! Thanks for sharing this with us at the Hearth and Soul Hop!

  3. Thanks sweetie, how did you know that I needed a little injection of romance in my life. Good to have some assurance that the good ones are out there ;)

    And holy smokes, does that recipe ever look good. So glad, as always, that you shared with the Hearth and Soul hop.

  4. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Butter Poweredbike, Svetlana Watkins. Svetlana Watkins said: My new post, loving on my sister and brother-in-law (both so handsome) and making oxtail soup-stew [...]

  5. @Alex, it is hard being the oldest! We had to teach our parents how to behave, because we were the ones tunneling through the brand new snow! Our siblings had much easier road to travel:) My husband has only one sister and they are not on good terms. Both of his parents are gone, and he feels like an orphan. But, my family is willing enough to adopt another lost soul:)

    @Christy, 5 girls, WOW! I have three and my husband feels like like he needs a civil rights attorney to guarantee him at least some time in a bathroom:) And yes, that little piece of land with a log cabin overlooking the city is what I dream about:)

    @Butterpoweredbike, everybody needs a love story once a while. I am so happy it touched you:) As far as oxtail stew, I wish that I could make the photo of it as good as it tastes.

  6. Draga Lana, sećam se kad su moji roditelji za cenu poziva i potrebe da čuju moj glas preko okeana potrošili celo malo bogatstvo. Kako su divne današnje tehnologije u tom pogledu.
    Uvek mi je drago kada neko nađe sebi srodnu dušu, i na kraju krajeva šta nam ostaje u životu nego ljubav koju pružimo i ljubav koju dobijemo.
    Pitanje, beef shank, koji je to deo mesa?

  7. Jelena, troškovi telefoniranja su bili nezamislivo veliki. Budući da nikada ni sa kim nisam lpričala kraće od jednog sata, račun je uvek bio poveliki. Ali to je bio jedini kontakt, osim pisama (imam dve pune kutije od porodice i prijatelja i to čuvam kao oči u glavi:)
    I ja pozdravljam tehnologiju današnjice:)
    “Beef shank” je ona šuplja kost sa moždinom, koja ima podosta mesa okolo (i da nema, bila bi odlična za supu, zbog kolagena). Mi smo to kupovali za rindflajš (ako ima ime, ja sam zaboravila:)

  8. Lovely. I am so happy that my brothers both married women whom I like, and who are good to him.

  9. I almost never have or take the time to read a full story post, but I am the oldest of three children and my sister and I are 15 months apart, just enough that I felt responsible for her, so I had to read this one, and what a lovely story. They are such a beautiful couple too!

    But I came here for the oxtail soup!! And I really can’t wait to try this recipe.

Leave a Reply

© 2010 Svetlana Watkins Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha